Wrestling with God

I never quite understood how Jacob had the audacity to wrestle with God all through the night. Suddenly, after many years, the penny dropped, because I recently had an incident that made me rather cross. I wasn’t quite sure who to be cross with, so I thought I’d write an email to God.

Let me explain that my feet are firmly planted on the ground so this was thoroughly out of character, and something I have never done before during my long life. Of course I never sent it, not knowing the address, but it made me feel a great deal better, particularly when it was answered within forty eight hours.

This is what I wrote:

Dear God

Why am I downcast O my soul?

But I will put my hope in you, God.

All right, things hadn’t gone well. I can accept that – but I feel so perplexed because I had asked a great many people to pray for me that evening: all the groups in which I am involved, both in Oxford and Wales, as well as some individuals (one in Arizona) to pray for things to go well.

That’s a lot of people and some are real spiritual giants.

I know you always answer prayer, Lord, and I also know that it is not always in the way we would like. All right, I get that too, but what saddens me is that if all these wonderful praying people are not heard – then is there any use in praying at all? (even when two or three are gathered together?) I also know that all authority in heaven and earth has been given to us – and that we must stand on God’s promises.

Next morning, I didn’t know whether to feel sad, disappointed, disillusioned, or cross. All four I think, but mainly cross.

Father I just don’t feel strong enough to cope with everything at the moment, so please show me that I am precious and honoured in your sight and that you love me – because I do NOT feel this at the moment.

However, just when I was feeling badly in need of some TLC, something amazing happened…

Would you like to know what? I will tell you in my blog next week.